Another Day Gone By...

This post today has to do with a more personal topic. I'm not the type of person who likes to expose my feelings for the world to see, but after last week I want to share. Last Tuesday (3/3/09) my grandmother pasted away. It was unexpected, & left many of us wondering "what now?" My grandma & grandpa were married for 60 years. They were truly the "love of each other's lives." You see the cute old couples who still hold hands? Well, that was my grandparents. My grandfather had heart problems & honestly most people, including himself, thought he'd be the first to pass on. He told me while sitting with him either at the hospital or funeral chapel, that he never thought he'd have to see her laying there like that.

The image of my grandpa sobbing at the hospital & funeral will haunt me forever. I have never seen him cry. To see him laugh, is one of my most favorite thing in this world. It breaks my heart to know he is hurting so much, but I can only hope that one day I will experience even a fraction of the love they had for one another! His last words to her before they closed the casket were, "Well, I guess I'll see you in heaven once I get there." This next year will be a challenge for everyone.

I myself, am dealing with a guilt of not visiting with my grandmother as much as I should have. I'd put off calling because I knew it would be an hour or two phone call, because she loved to talk. I kept saying, "I'll go see her another weekend", having no idea those weekends of opportunity were coming to an end. I am very blessed to have had them both around for so long, but until you lose one, you don't think about it. I had lost my other grandfather when I was very young & my other grandmother more than ten years ago. That loss was extremely hard for me & not until now, have I felt that same feeling of loss again. Sure, I have had people in my life pass away & it was sad & emotional, but this feeling I have now is much different. She is in God's hands now, & I know she has been catching up with all the gossip from freinds & family members that have long pasted from this earth.

I love you dearly grandma & someday we will all be back together. But, until then, look over each of us, & help us to be strong, loving individuals.